Gigi
I want a funny long joke or saying that will make me laugh
Answer
Bella: You're pale white and ice cold. I know what you are.
Edward: Say it...Out loud...Say it!
Bella: A Snowman..
*boy whispers to his mom during a wedding*
boy: "Mommy?"
mom: "What?"
boy: "Why is the girl dressed in white?"
mom: "Because this is the happiest day of her life."
boy: "... so why is the boy dressed in black?"
A man went into the public toilets to relieve himself. The first cubicle was in use, so he went into the next one. As he took down his trousers, he heard a voice from the other cubicle.
"Hey, hows it going?"
Not wanting to be rude, he replied, "Not too bad thanks."
A few seconds later, he heard the voice again.
"What are you up to?"
Somewhat reluctantly, he replied, "Having a quick sh*t, what about you?"
He heard the voice again.
"Hold on, I'm going to have to call you back. Theres some wise a.ss in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say!!
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Shelly. Shelly was very girly and liked wearing pretty skirts. She wore skirts every day.
One day at school, a young boy named Sam asked Shelly to climb on the jungle gym. So Shelly did.
When Shelly got home, she told her mom about her day, and included the part about the jungle gym.
"Shelly, don't do that. He might just be trying to look at your underwear." said her mother.
What the big deal was, Shelly didn't understand.
The next day Sam asked Shelly to climb on the jungle gym again. So she did.
Shelly again told her mother about her day, including the jungle gym moment.
"Didn't I tell you, young lady?" fumed her mother. "He just wants to see your underwear!"
"But Mommy, I tricked him," said Shelly. "Today I didn't wear any underwear!"
A guy walks into the bar and the white bartender says, we don't serve colored people .
The man replies, I don't understand why you white people call us colored because :
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I cold, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.
You white folks
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green.
When you bruised, you purple.
And when you die, you gray.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, âThis is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.â The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, âWhich do you want, son?â The boy takes the quarters and leaves. âWhat did I tell you?â said the barber. âThat kid never learns!â Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. âHey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?â The boy licked his cone and replied, âBecause the day I take the dollar, the game is over!â
A man was out for a drink with his wife last night when he said, "I love you".
She asked him, "Is that you or the beer talking?"
He said, "It's me........I was talking to the beer"!
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Selena Gomez: who says who says your not perfects.
Some kid: Hannah Montana
Hannah Montana: NOBODYS PERFECT!
Bella: You're pale white and ice cold. I know what you are.
Edward: Say it...Out loud...Say it!
Bella: A Snowman..
*boy whispers to his mom during a wedding*
boy: "Mommy?"
mom: "What?"
boy: "Why is the girl dressed in white?"
mom: "Because this is the happiest day of her life."
boy: "... so why is the boy dressed in black?"
A man went into the public toilets to relieve himself. The first cubicle was in use, so he went into the next one. As he took down his trousers, he heard a voice from the other cubicle.
"Hey, hows it going?"
Not wanting to be rude, he replied, "Not too bad thanks."
A few seconds later, he heard the voice again.
"What are you up to?"
Somewhat reluctantly, he replied, "Having a quick sh*t, what about you?"
He heard the voice again.
"Hold on, I'm going to have to call you back. Theres some wise a.ss in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say!!
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Shelly. Shelly was very girly and liked wearing pretty skirts. She wore skirts every day.
One day at school, a young boy named Sam asked Shelly to climb on the jungle gym. So Shelly did.
When Shelly got home, she told her mom about her day, and included the part about the jungle gym.
"Shelly, don't do that. He might just be trying to look at your underwear." said her mother.
What the big deal was, Shelly didn't understand.
The next day Sam asked Shelly to climb on the jungle gym again. So she did.
Shelly again told her mother about her day, including the jungle gym moment.
"Didn't I tell you, young lady?" fumed her mother. "He just wants to see your underwear!"
"But Mommy, I tricked him," said Shelly. "Today I didn't wear any underwear!"
A guy walks into the bar and the white bartender says, we don't serve colored people .
The man replies, I don't understand why you white people call us colored because :
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I cold, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.
You white folks
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green.
When you bruised, you purple.
And when you die, you gray.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, âThis is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.â The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, âWhich do you want, son?â The boy takes the quarters and leaves. âWhat did I tell you?â said the barber. âThat kid never learns!â Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. âHey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?â The boy licked his cone and replied, âBecause the day I take the dollar, the game is over!â
A man was out for a drink with his wife last night when he said, "I love you".
She asked him, "Is that you or the beer talking?"
He said, "It's me........I was talking to the beer"!
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Selena Gomez: who says who says your not perfects.
Some kid: Hannah Montana
Hannah Montana: NOBODYS PERFECT!
Good short sayings for my favors?
Future
I'm getting those personalized M&Ms with a picture of me and my fiance on them and we get to choose 3 sayings to put on them. They need to be short and sweet. Any ideas?
Here are my colors, too :o)
http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r95/gizmo5-2-06/Untitled-1.jpg
What do you think??
Thanks! That means a lot!
Answer
"True Love"
"_____(Brides first name) + ________ (Grooms first name) Forever "
"Welcome to our wedding"
"Love"
"I do"
"Forever and Always"
"Two souls, one heart"
Future Mrs. Chandler----
I LOVE YOUR 'DRESS YOUR WEDDING' IDEAS!
Looks very pretty!
Gorgeous to be honest.
I really like it, looks amazing and I adore the colors!
EDIT: You're welcome! And I do mean it =)
"True Love"
"_____(Brides first name) + ________ (Grooms first name) Forever "
"Welcome to our wedding"
"Love"
"I do"
"Forever and Always"
"Two souls, one heart"
Future Mrs. Chandler----
I LOVE YOUR 'DRESS YOUR WEDDING' IDEAS!
Looks very pretty!
Gorgeous to be honest.
I really like it, looks amazing and I adore the colors!
EDIT: You're welcome! And I do mean it =)
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